Today’s Menu (WC)

  

(Wendy Cabell, published (also finalist in contest) in My Sanskriti in Teal, edited by Ruchi Acharya, Wingless Dreamer Publisher, 2023. Originally from May 14, 2022, feast day of Our Lady of Bavaria, the Unexpected Joy Icon of the Mother of God, the Sweet-Kissing Icon of the Mother of God, the Yaroslavl-Caves Icon of the Mother of God, and feast day of Saint Matthias the Apostle, Saint Corona the Martyr, and Saint Maria Mazzerello. Image from our family photo album (previous image was from here, tree shrine to Our Lady of Bavaria.)

Originally from 2022, revisited now in loving memory of my Mother, who in her own way carried Grandma Otten's torch, who carried her Grandmother's, and on back....

Today’s Menu

World economy hires her waitress, ignores my order,

brings what pleases. No wonder this restaurant’s avoided.

Turn to Great Grandma Otten’s instead, opened in the Roaring 20's.

Lost in the Great Depression. Though she kept the Rosary,

safe in her apron pocket, passed it on. This economy of time

paced smooth, circles round. Skirts the sound of crash 

or rise, holds my hand. Each visit,

a surprise -- 

*From prompt: Freewrite as inspired by Moinica de la Torre’s “$6.82”; from Lisa Freedman’s Imagination and Justice BreatheReadWrite (IWWG International Women’s Writing Guild), May 14, 2022. 

Flying Lessons (WC)

 

(Wendy Cabell, published in Writers At Play Presents: Our Legacy, edited by Daisy Barrett-Nash, Equal Arts, 2022. Originally from September 8, 2021, feast day of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary, and also of the Kursk-Root Icon of the Mother of God (and other Icons). Also the second day of Rosh Hashanah, the "head of the year" (first day here); as well as commemorating the (3760 BC) first very Shabbat on the seventh day of creation. Image from here.)

Originally from 2021, revisited now in loving memory of my Mother

Flying Lessons

(for my Mom, Jackie March... Angel-Mom, Sister, Friend)

 You can fly!

         You can fly!

         You can fly!

         --Peter Pan

 

The Wing’s the thing, unspoken mantra of my Mother -–

sorrow hidden, this her balm. There’s the spoken mantras too:

Okay, Baby Angels, we need a mini-miracle.

Let your Guardian Angel talk to his Guardian Angel, they’ll work this conflict out.

If you ever see a frown, do not let it stay,

as to this restless soul a feather's brush. 

Her hand on my forehead. Slow dawn 

of soft smile, knowing,

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. 

(Meanwhile, directions from Disney,

There it is... second star to the right and straight on till morning!

         

but digressing.) And remembering, night not so long ago. 

I’m on the bed resting, stretching. Phone nestled by ear. 

True confessions: Mom’s climb out of depression 

just noticing the littlest of things. Magic's glow

tween thank and you — it got her through. 

So now I’m telling you, floats her voice.

    If after wings, your blessings sing -–

             The Wing's the thing.

*“If you ever see a frown…” adapted from Daniel Taylor's "Smiles", “Angels can fly because…” from G.K. Chesterson’s "Orthodoxy", Disney quotes from "Peter Pan".

*”If you ever see a frown…” is paraphrased from Daniel Taylor’s Smiles. “Angels can fly because…” is quoted from G.K. Chesterson’s Orthodoxy. Disney quotes are from Peter Pan.

**From prompt: Ponder the life lesson(s) that have meant the most to you, the setting, teacher/characteristics, way lesson(s) imparted/aha moments, impact. Find striking lines, sensory detail, theme to repeat. From Daisy Barrett-Nash’s Legacy Poetry, July 28, August 4, and September 1 & 8, 2021.

Heart of Things (WC)

 

(Wendy Cabell, published in Come to the Table: Recipes for Loving and Serving, edited by Ched Johnson and Nancy Collins-Warner, Monastery of Saint Gertrude, 2021. Poem originally from October 31, 2020, All Hallow's Eve (eve of All Saints' Day), and feast day of Saint Erth of Cornwall (brother of Saint Ia). Image from here.)

Originally from 2020, revisited now in loving memory of my Mother

Heart of Things

This heartbeat 

pulsed DNA

knows where I'm from.

From Rosaries 

in pockets of aprons,

passed on from mother 

        to daughter.

From aprons in kitchens

made warm by flame

and good ol' potato soup.

From soup on tables

where rash words stole                

Grace that could 

have been. 

                                                                                                                         

I come from voices                            

held now as treasure,

         even so.

*From prompt, craft a poem inspired by Kim Moore’s My People; from Christine Valtners Paintner’s Listening At the Threshold: Voices of Saints and Ancestors (Abbey of the Arts, Galway), October 31, 2020.

So How Are You Today? (WC)

 

(Wendy Cabell, published in the Canadian Journal of Mental Health and Disability Theology, Spring 2024 issue; composed April 26, feast day of (above) Our Lady of Good Counsel, of Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception (Chile), and of Saint Alda/Aldobrandesca of Siena and Saint Paschasius Radbertus. On Jewish calendar today State of Israel Proclaimed (1948), and Preparation for Shavuot Begins; Twenty-One Days to the Omer begins tonight. Image from here.)

So How Are You Today?

Sometimes as greeting.

Yet a question.

Mask I wear, it answers: “I’m good”. 

Alternatively: "About the same”. 

When I remove the mask, swirling mix. Positive spins–-God’s Angels are around us, His Saints. Most of all Our Savior, Our Blessed Mother. All true. And true this overwhelm, this will this pain ever stop, this nervous system miswired, jolted. Rerouted, confused. Never know when the monsters will roar in there, pull up carpet, can’t make plans. Open target–-CRASH, BOOM. Ground hits hardest when folks don’t see it's happening. When don’t see the monsters are here. 

And if I’m being honest, I need help. Your help. Caregivers, doctors, priests, neighbors, friends, family. I need you to see how things are for me, look the monster in the eye. Not sympathy so much as empathy, and your solid true (to feel, to do) “take my hand--and we’ll get through this”. 

“Tell me about your despair and I will tell you mine”, says Mary Oliver.

“Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air”, she continues. 

As I continue to hold both these things. And wrestle

how to say this,

how to answer

how I am today. 

[Added later as part of a journal submission's guidelines:

Author's Note 

It still happens, that queasiness in the stomach when I’m asked how I'm doing today. First the sensing, does this person actually want to know? Do they care? Then the sifting, do I share the hurt in hopes of some comprehension? Do I share the light in hopes of its expansion? So common it can be to minimize another’s pain or need, not wanting to see it, especially if it’s complicated. If it’s not an easy fix. And mine isn't. For one, I have Complex Regional Pain Syndrome [CRPS] a rare physiological and neurological disorder making pain signals both amplified and ongoing. It’s nicknamed the “suicide disease”, considered the most painful condition one can have. Terrifying then, to be alone, unseen. And one’s in danger if restrictions and accommodation needs aren’t grasped. Yet what is focused on grows, carves a path, a tendency of glance. And what I long to grow is the light. The warmth of that deep nestled spark, “Lifeforce Love” a friend calls it. Mine…and yours. 

Questions for Group Reflection

1. One thing that bridges the gap between expressing the pain and embracing the light is the simple awareness of one’s body and experience. Are there related practices you might incorporate into your daily routine? There are things like mental tracing, scanning your body upon awakening, an act of gratitude really, a prayer. There’s a nudge to mindfulness as go about day, short pauses, just looking round, settling in, breathing space. There’s infinite ways the Spirit may be whispering. What are you hearing just now?

2. A way we can honor the complexity of our disabilities, while also honoring another’s need for simplicity, is to present concrete accommodations. This takes some ground work, prioritizing what is most important to you and brainstorming the most doable ways to meet this need. Not always easy! But is there a short list you might compile of specific accommodations? For example if one is heat sensitive asking to be seated near the air conditioner—something in this vein makes such a difference to well being yet is fairly simple when it comes down to it. ]

1 Mary Oliver, “Wild Geese”, in The Atlantic Monthly Press, 1986.

2 For more on CRPS, see ComplexTruths.org, in particular “What is CRPS“ at https://complextruths.org/what-is-crps/, and “McGill Pain Index Measures CRPS Pain” at https://complextruths.org/mcgill-pain-index-where-is-crps-ranked-and-why/. ]

From combined prompts: Freewrite, giving honesty the focus and giving yourself permission to “write bad poetry”, about your mask, using above entry points (The mask I wear, When I remove the mask, And if I’m being honest); from Matthew Cuban Hernandez’s Free Verse: Removing the Mask (Hope At Hand’s Jax Poetry Fest 2023). Also using prompt of Mary Oliver’s “Wild Geese”, from Reverend Dr. Victoria Marie’s Art As Spiritual Practice group, April 26, 2023. 

Emergence Notes (WC)

(Wendy Cabell, published in Network: Fall 2022, a journal edited by Michelle Miller and team, International Women’s Writing Guild, 2022. Piece from July 25-27, 2022.)

Emergence Notes

(notes on Margie Ann Stanko’s “Emergence” series, 

IWWG Conference, July 25-July 27, 2022)

1. Day one, “Unknowing”

Change Greets Me With Love

(from cave’s signpost)

soft glow, scoots 

edges out of hiding: 

                   emergency supplies, 

                   apologies, 

                   medical records; 

hands note an interweave:

                             hot tea, 

                             lullabies, 

                             click of Rosary beads–-

                                   hold them now.  

2. Day two, “Resilience”

Eye Witness

What does it take to start looking inward 

and outward like an artist (or even better an 

heARTist) and sense what yet has to emerge?

–Margie Ann Stanko

Great Grandma Ginny, softest touch, “See this,

Honey?,” pulling out her Scapular, or setting out 

chocolate chip cookies, or ushering me into her 

quiet, breezy room. I can nestle here as the family 

chats--booming staccato. As I snooze before our spaghetti

dinner, spot a cloud or two just outside. As inside the flutter 

settles, eye blinks. Later, young adult eyes upon my therapist,

who says “Honey, what did Grandma Ginny do?" Nudges

consider this in current scene, my feeling powerless

can only offer hand when asked for help–-

listen, hush--as a memory’s up, of mask’s

slip, gentle hands having loosened its grip

                                                 

 not with speeches or with stuff but with

            space, a Presence–-

                it is enough.

3. Day three, “Thriving”

To Love Truth

To love truth

is true strength

is strength for peace

is peace beyond that of mind

is of another kind--

kindness, tender touch

being what touches

truth. 

*Images above, being part of each day’s prompts during the Margie Ann Stanko’s “Emergence” workshop, are photos of sculptures from Frederick Franck's "Pacem in Terris", a contemplative sculpture garden in Warwick, NY.

For Starlight (WC)

 

(Wendy Cabell, published in Writers at Play Presents: The Art of Letter Writing, edited by Daisy Barrett-Nash, Equal Arts, 2023. A previous poem, revisited to include in a letter for Daisy Barrett Nash's Writers at Play, letter writing series 2022. Image is of Stella Maris, from here)

For Starlight

I am the root and 

the offspring of David,

the bright morning star. 

-Rev 22:16

 Words they are bowls for Starlight. True joy in the smoothing, the holding them. True fear in the thinking that's all there is. But

no worries–-

words they are bowls

for Starlight

Venture (WC)

 

(Wendy Cabell, published in Writers at Play Presents: The Art of Letter Writing, edited by Daisy Barrett-Nash, Equal Arts, 2023. From July 5, 2022, feast day of (above) Our Lady of Refuge (also yesterday), the Seven Joys of Mary, Saint Elizabeth of Portugal, and Saint Modwenna. Archduchess Margaret of Austria also remembered today. Image from here.)

Venture

(an itinerary for when mind swirls,

journal jumbles; after Drew Gardner)

venture (n.)...a variant of adventure (n.)

Trusting honesty

moving toward form, 

its buzzy rich sound,

its hands round what 

heart feels and knows yet 

not, trusting -- trusting 

honesty, moving

toward form 

*From combined prompts: Freewrite as inspired by Drew Gardner’s “Five Essays”, from Lisa Freedman’s BreatheReadWrite, July 5, 2022.